A Life Worthwhile
by Natalie Elizabeth
Summary: For three years Kate has been on top of Castle's Bucket list, but what exactly made him put her there?


A life Worthwhile

By

Natalie Elizabeth

Beckett looked over Castle's bucket list and her eyes fixated on the first thing on his list.

"Be with Kate, that's you number one. When did you write this?" Beckett asked surprised

"Well like three years ago,"

Beckett balked. "3 Years ago?"

"Yeah"

Castle continued to talk but Beckett wasn't listening to him. Three years ago! Three years ago he decided to make a bucket list and he made be with her, his number 1 thing to do.

"When?"

"What?" Castle asked.

"When? When three years ago?"

Castle looked down at his drink as if it were the moist fascinating thing in the world. Beckett knew something was up. Castle never did something for the sake of it. He always had a reason, or a long drawn out story.

"Rick what happened to make you write this?"

He looked at her and there was sadness in his eyes.

"When your apartment blew up,"

"My apartment?"

Castle nodded. "I walked out of my bedroom and you were sitting right where you are now. You were wearing mine, Alexis' or mother's clothes. Now that I think about it, probably a combination of all three. A cup of steaming hot coffee was in your hands and you sat there staring at nothing."

Beckett narrowed her eyes. She had vague memories of what Castle was talking about.

"I didn't want to disturb you," he told her. "I was going to sneak away but you saw me. You turned you head and smiled."

"I smiled," Beckett asked confused.

Castle nodded. "Yeah you smiled at me. Because of my crazed fan you were homeless. You lost years of memories when your apartment blew up. You nearly lost your life. All because of me, and you smiled."

"It wasn't your fault you had a crazy fan."

"I know. The smile you gave me told me that. It also said 'everything is going to be ok' and 'Thank you',"

"It must have been some smile."

Castle chuckled "Oh believe me it was. It made me realise I would never have seen that smile if you had died. That thought had me feeling worse than I have ever felt before in my life. I knew then that I truly wanted to be with you. Not just have sex with you but really be with you. Like this," Castle took the glass out of her hand and set it down on the table. He pulled her against him. "Holding you. Spending time with you. Just being with you. I wrote the list later that night."

"From my smile?" Beckett asked again still shocked.

"Yes."

Beckett turned around in Castle's embrace. She saw his smile and bit her lip. He looked almost meek and embarrassed about his confession.

"I love you," she blurted out.

"What?" he asked shocked.

"I love you," she told him again. "I know I should have said it sooner but..."

Beckett's speech was cut short as Castle crushed his lips to her.

"Thank you," Castle finally said when he pulled away from her.

Beckett frowned. "Thank you?"

Castle nodded. "For helping me cross another thing off my Bucket list."

Beckett picked up the list she had momentarily discarded.

"Its number 18," Castle informed her as he leaned over her shoulder to look at his list.

Beckett's eyes scrolled down the paper until she found 18. "Hear Kate say I love you," Beckett laughed. "You have written in parenthesis 'to me'."

Castle shrugged. "Well there is no point in hearing you say it to another man,"

Beckett grimaced, the thought made her feel sick. Scanning over his list Beckett's eyes grew large when she saw number 32.

"Castle. Number 32 says 'Screw Detective Beckett,"

Castle laughed. "I told you I wrote it after your apartment blew up. I saw you naked and it fore filled some of my wildest fantasies,"

Beckett learned over and slapped him on the arm. "You said you didn't look,"

"Of course I looked. Oh and by the way, doing this," Castle put an arm over his chest, "Doesn't really cover much."

Beckett's mouth dropped open in shock.

"I am kidding. I mean yes I saw you naked for like a second. I was more concerned with the fact you were alive than what you were wearing. Once I realised you were naked I turned around and was the perfect gentleman."

Beckett rolled her eyes at her boyfriend's antics.

"So Kate, do you have a Bucket list. Any wild fantasies,"

Beckett dropped Castle's bucket list on the table and stood up and slowly started walking towards the bedroom.

"Have sex with a famous writer,"

A smug grim broke out on Castles face. "Well I guess we can cross that one off the list tonight,"

Beckett's eyes widened. "You mean you have Patterson's number on speed dial?"

Faster than what she thought was possible Castle sprung up from the couch and chased after her. Beckett pathetically attempted to get away by running slowly in the bedroom. Within seconds Castle arms wrapped around her from behind.

"You little minx,"

Beckett threw her heads back and laughed.

"So seriously. Do you have a bucket list?"

Beckett spun around in Castles arms and wrapped her own around his waist.

"No. I never got those. I mean what happens once you accomplish all the things on your list, do you die? Or what if you die before you finish your list. Does that make your life pointless?"

Castle opened his mouth as if to comment and then shut it frowning.

Beckett shrugged at him. "People often look at a Bucket list with 50 things they want to do. They then get disappointed when they see they only have a few things crossed off. What I do have is a list of things I have done or seen in my life that make living worthwhile."

Castle smiled at her. "Like what?"

Beckett shrugged. "Big things, little things. Like a few years ago I took the day of work to take my neighbour I barely knew to the hospital so she could have day surgery. I have taken a helicopter flight over Niagara Falls. The look on my fathers face when I turn up unexpectedly. I give blood regularly. I've watched the sun rise over the Grand Canyon. Taken Kapowskis' shift so she could see her niece perform at her ballet recital. It may not seem like a big deal to other people.."

"No," Castle interrupted. "I like your idea, it sounds nice."

Beckett nodded. "And the best thing is can do them over and over again just by changing them a little,"

"How so?"

Beckett bit her lip. "Well like, turn up to my father's place unexpectedly, with Rick. Give blood, with Rick. Watch the sun rise over the Grand Canyon, with Rick."

"Make love," a smiling Castle added.

Beckett nodded. "With Richard Alexander Rogers,"

Castle tilted his head and gave her a wry smile. "Not Richard Castle,"

Beckett shook her head. "Nope. It's kind of like your 'Be with Kate', 'Screw Detective Beckett' scenarios."

Castle frowned as he nodded at her. "Yeah. The only way I am going to screw Detective Beckett is if we do it at the precinct and I already know that's a no. Or if we role play,"

Beckett bit her lip. "You know I do have my handcuffs and gun,"

Castle's eyes widened. "I have some sunglasses and a huge ego lying around here somewhere."

Beckett smiled. "Well then Mr Castle, I am glad to inform you, you are under arrest,"

Castle held up his hand. "Just hold that thought for one second."

Beckett frowned as Castle ran from the room and then quickly returned.

"What are you doing?"

Castle smiled. "Crossing off role playing sex with Kate,"

Beckett's eyes widened. "Castle,"

"What? I repeat, saw you naked."

Beckett rolled her eyes but smiled at him. He had written his Bucket list after she had almost died. From what she had seen, she featured a lot in the things he wanted to do. Three years ago he had written a list about her.

"Come here?"

Castle put down his list and walked back over to her.

"Wait I need to get my sunglasses,"

Beckett shook her head. "Not tonight. The was one thing I forgot to mention that is at the top of my life worth living list,"

"Oh. What's that?"

"Experiencing a love like I have never felt before, in my life. That one is recent addition mind you,"

Castle smiled at her. "Oh that one can be experienced over and over again but just with me,"

Beckett bit her lip. "That sounds good to me."

Castle took her hand and led her over to the bed. "Maybe in the distant future we can talk about crossing off number 50 on my list,"

Beckett sat down on the bed and smiled at him. "You know what; I am starting to like your Bucket list Castle. I'll help you cross things off your list if you help me add things to mine,"

Castle knelt down in front of her and then helped her remove her shoes.

"Deal,"

The end

* * *

I apologize this is unedited but i will get it done asap. Just wanted to get my thoughts out there.

So what did you think. I changed a few little things from the ep but i think it works.

Love it? Hate it? Let me know


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